A Friend - inspired by Keno's "A Friend"

With apologies to "keno's A Friend"

"I've still been searching, and long have i waited for someone to like me as me, to laugh with, to cry with, to be just beside with, a friend --- that's who I need
To fight with, make up with, to know that you need them, believing that they need you too, to walk hand-in-hand with, to be just beside with, a friend --- that's who I need.
And even though I make mistakes and never do anything right,
A smile, a hug, can change a lot
And everything will be all right
Someone who shares all my dreams and ambitions, someone who will love me as me, I need this person, someone to rely on
A friend, that's who I need...."

From the time I heard the lyrics of this song, I have been attached to it. The words seemed to be just what I had been keeping inside me for so long. I don't know why friends are so important to me. Perhaps it's coming from a large family and an even larger clan. Friends would epitomize that I am myself, an individual, not just a member of a group, a part of a set.

These past 15 years or so in my life have brought me so much joy, pain, hurts, laughter, tears, I think i've been through the whole gamut of human emotions in this period. On top of and underneath it all, there is also peace, serenity, that comes only with acceptance. Of realities. Of truths that can have different perspectives. Of myself and my being. Of me and my God.

In this 15-year journey that I had travelled, I chose my own path several times. I took paths popularly travelled. I took paths seldom used. I made my own paths. There were dark and cold times. There were also times that I was awash with light and warmth. There were rough, stony, uneven paths. There were smooth, flowing ones.

I walked. I ran. I rested and moved on. I stumbled, got up, moved on. I lost my bearings, regained them, moved on.

With friends. Because of friends. They come in all colors, sizes, shapes, characters, languages, religions, politics, classes, ages, genders, sexual orientations. Some are related to me by blood. Some by proximity. Some by association - in class, in organizations, in professions, in affiliations.

Our friendships may have one or more dimensions. We may see each other often. Or have not seen each other in decades. We communicate often, on occasion, intermittently, when the need arises. But we know that we are there, for each other, when the need arises. Or just because.

I read somewhere, that relationship is not so much as finding the right person as BEING the right person. I believe that the friendships that I made, especially those that have stayed, been revived, been re-born in another dimension, are there because I a friend to them, too. Or at least I've always tried and still do try to be. And they know that.

Friends not only travelled with me on this journey. They also made me see, see more, much more --- to life, to living, to myself. By liking me as I am, I learned to like myself too.

The journeys we take in life have rough spots impossible for us to go through as humans, where only angels can help us. That's another facet of God's love for us humans. He gave us friends --- who are actually angels without wings.

From the journal of an IMCC Faculty

I was asked to contribute to the publication's next issue and the topic suggested was something to/for the students. I'm putting this online now because I realized some of them I'm addressing this to are already out of town, or out of the country. They have begun to try out their wings, pursuing their dreams or their parents' dreams.

I am not connected with IMCC now, but many of them have stayed in touch with me, remembering occasions, visiting me, updating me of their lives. A group of them have even dubbed themselves my "fetuses" and have since then called me "mommy", "mum", "mom".

I hope this gets to them and they will know how I cherished the part of me and my life I shared with them.

Article published in the Medivox (Officical Publications of the Iligan Medical Center College) Vol.10 No. 3 March 2007 Issue

Trying out IMCC was almost like a shot in the dark. After all, I thought I had left the private school milieu when I graduated high school. I hadn’t thought of myself planting the seeds of learning, initiating quest for knowledge in what I considered to be a structured environment, thus not one conducive to opening of minds.

Years later, though, after I had also first left the country’s most open educational environment, I made the realization that learning needs some structure, even the barest outline, in order for it to take root and blossom. After all, even farmers follow some rules of order, albeit those are of nature.

I didn’t know what to expect upon entering IMCC’s portals. I needed to make adjustments, more that I thought I would. And these adjustments had to be readusted in almost every class I encountered. Flexibility was needed. But I couldn’t let go of that realization of the need for structure and order, even the merest semblance of it, for me to stand by the profession I found myself back in. I’d announce my rules inside the classroom, and policies for the course. There would be considerations and tolerance, altough for the most part, the general rules would apply. There was resistance, oh yes, quite some resistance, from a number of quarters. But I stood pat and remained unfazed and held on to my guns. “Never say die” is still my second name, I kept on telling myself and everybody else. I just couldn’t give up.

Lo and behold, God is just the best! (Non-believers, humour me with this!) Despite the human, material, practical, mental and psychological blocks along the way to my fourth semester now, I have been blessed. Yes, I have been gifted with gems. Some of them were so clear even to my myopic, astigmatic and presbiopic eyes. Some had to be dug out, uncovered, scraped, refined. But gems they turned out to be, at the end of every semester. And even afterwards, when the structure and order of the classroom was behind us, we became friends. And I am now, not the tormentor, but their friend and mentor.

You know who you are, my dearest gems! Thank you for giving fun to my life within IMCC. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be the one to reveal your worth and value, to yourselves and to the world around you! Shine on and share your gleam and sparkle with the raw, untarnished and varnished ones!

Yours,

Ma’am Nell